What I Do and Don't Do

I had a killer idea for a topic the other day...  Now, what was it??

I remember I once did the topic, What is the value of marriage in modern society?  I had intended to examine the phenomena of modern marriage:  serial monogamy but not actual lifetime fidelity, shared child rearing by separated parents, delayed marriage, DINK's, domestic partnerships, same sex marriages, etc.  The topic was well received by the participants, but it turned into a sort of marriage counseling session.  There was lots of TMI sharing, which was not all that great, actually.  It soured me on domestic topics and I haven't been back to that quicksand quagmire since, but maybe hope springs eternal...

The topic I had for this week was one having to do with kids and child rearing.  What was it?

Other topics I totally avoid:

• Addictions of various kinds (remember George DuWors?  He made a career of this one.)
• Politics, esp. with respect to local politics
• Relationships in general - are these Big Questions issues?
• Zombies (unless it is in the service of BQ topics like consciousness, minds and brains, etc.)

Socrates asked What is.. questions.  What is virtue?  What is duty?  What is knowledge?  We should ask these sorts of questions about our own lives.   What is our responsibility to our do-nothing teen-age kids who are addicted to the internet and their smart phones?  (Oops, I said I would not do addictions!)  What is the best strategy for planning our retirement?  What is retirement, for that matter?  What is ..  what?  What is the What is Question that is most troubling to you, my BQ readers and attendees?

What is the value of BQ after so many years of meeting?  I see this as a fair question.  We've done the Pleasure Box Question in so many ways.  And the Meaning of Life.  And the Purpose of our Lives.  Is there room for one more?  As we transit the timeline that is our lives, is the process of introspection that BQ attempts to facilitate still relevant?  Is Socrate's Examined Life still a worthy objective?

There, that is our question!  The Examined Life!  I've long extolled that the Process of Examination is the objective, not the destination of living the examined life.  That we gather, that we discuss, that we question and probe is enough.  It is that we ask the questions that makes it enough.  That Big Questions exists is enough, and that we gather to ask and wrestle to answer the questions is enough.

What is the Examined Life, and why should we give a shit?

THAT is the QUESTION!

BQ on the Bubble?

On Dec. 27 I askd my readers for ideas for BQ.  I have received Zero responses.  What does that mean?

For this Friday I propose we select a topic that evening.  Topics that occur to me:

1.  Lance Armstrong
2.  The Seahawks terrible loss
3.  The pending Zombie Invasion
4.  Review of The Hobbit, 1 of 3
5.  Chip Kelly leaving Oregon for Philly

If you have other ideas I suggest you submit them.

Soliciting a Subject

I would like to send a brief request to my followers to send in a topic or subject for BQ for January 18.  What would you like to use as a springboard for our discussion?   Send it as a response to this blog (if you have an email account with Google that is the easiest way), or you can send it to my other email account (you know what that is, right?). 

Happiness Sauce

I was listening to a TED Talk about Happiness.  The speaker broke the concept of Happiness down in a different way, one that I had not considered before.  Since I seem to be stuck on the topic of Happiness, I thought I would share the comments of this speaker and see if there is a way I can work them into my own narrative.

Happiness was defined as being the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of regret. The concept of pleasure was explored in the context of choices and the many ways we struggle in making a choice of one thing among a field of many similar things.  An example used was spaghetti sauce in the grocery store.  Prego and Ragu have a history of selling sauces that they thought were what people wanted to buy, but through a rather straightforward process of showing people different kinds of sauces it turns out that over 25% of us like extra chunky spaghetti sauce, a type that was not even offered until this study was commissioned.  Our happiness was being thwarted through our own inarticulate purchasing preferences.  Prego figured this out and made over $66 million in the 1980's by cornering the Extra Chunky sauce market. 

 
Interestingly, the "ideal" Italian sauce is not chunky.  As originally conceived and practiced in southern Italy, the sauce is smooth and without chunks, and passes through the pasta when you ladle a dollop on top of the pile.  The idea of a chunky sauce that sits up on top is something new and doesn't even really fit with the concept of a spaghetti sauce as invented by the Italians.  If Happiness is about eating things that give you pleasure, then your tastes have moved beyond traditional sauces and choices are what you need to fulfill your Happiness craving.
 
Regret is a two parted concept that is the antonym of Happiness.  The two parts are these:

1.     Faced with a plethora of choices for any particular decision, a person is required to sort and select through the choices to arrive at a single one.  In so doing a set of expectations is used to anticipate the outcome of any of the choices.  The person making the choice develops these expectations and these expectations are independent of any inherent property of the things being chosen.  The anticipated outcome of making the choice is a projected future that has been influenced and improved by the choice.  So, the first part of the regret process is Choice.

2.    Regret is the emotion a person feels when the outcome actually achieved was not the one desired.  It may be less than, or simply other than the expected outcome of making the choice.  The regret may be that another selection would have been better.  It may be that making no decision would have been better.  In any event the outcome of Regret is the emotional backlash of making any Choice among several  alternatives.

One logical outcome of this analysis is the understanding that without Choice you can never have Regret.

Another implied concept is that we may be equally happy in an environment where the choices are not made clear to us.  In the case of the spaghetti sauces people bought smooth sauces that they knew from their childhoods thinking that these were fine and sufficient for making spaghetti, and that nothing really needed to be changed to make them happy about that experience.  Once educated about a new choice, the Extra Chunky option, a significant number chose that over the traditional selection, apparently making themselves Happier than they would have been but for that one new choice.  Had Extra Chunky not come along, would they have been equally happy?  Studies on this sort of thing seems to indicate they would have been.  Choices for the sake of choice do not make us inherently happier.  Have you checked on salad dressings at the grocery store lately?  By some accounts there are 175 different dressings on the shelves, not counting the combinations of olive oil and balsamic vinegar you might like to employ for yourself.   With that much choice how can anyone not be happy about the way their salad dressing tastes?  Or do you suffer decision regret that you used Green Goddess when you wish you had chosen Extra Chunky Blue Cheese instead?

Is Happiness related to choice? Is the Pursuit of Happiness somehow similar to the Pursuit of Many Choices?  And if choice leads to regret, would the lack of choice mean that a person might actually be Happier with fewer choices, or no choice at all?  (This is the Henry Ford Color Choice, "People can have any color of Model T they want, as long as its black!")

A corollary might be that things seemed happier in the past when the choices were fewer.  It may have literally been true, that limited circumstances meant that people's lack of choice led to lower expectations and hence less regret.  I don't believe it, but this is what the concept might logically lead us to.

The speaker I listened to concluded that Happiness was maximized when people had low initial expectations and life's experiences then exceeded their expectations.  How can one regret a past decision when the present has worked out well and you can't imagine a set of decisions you could have made to have it turn out except as it has?  Reverse thinking to be sure, but something to consider.

No Meeting this Friday

The stars are aligned against us this month.  Let's not meet this Friday.   We can hold our topic until next month.

D

RLS and HIP

Staying on the topic of Happiness...

The human condition of Being Happy seems to me to be possible in at least a couple of independent ways:
1.  Happiness can arise from a condition where the confluence of our thoughts, actions, and living, and the outcomes of this living, are in agreement with our plans, desires, and hopes.  Right Living creates the Right Life, hence you are Happy.  I like to think of this as organic Happiness, meaning that it arises from actions we take, we make it happen because we are in control of our lives, and we are responsible for it.  Lives out of control are rarely Happy, and the people in those lives may only feel Happy in very limited ways, and only from certain perspectives.   I call this the Right Living Scenario, or RLS.
2.  Happiness can arise through the application of electrical or chemical stimuli.  Experience tells us that Happy Hour was properly named if a quantity of alcohol, the drug of choice for many people, is applied in the right dose to create the sensation of Happiness, however limited in scope it may be.  Other drugs can be used, I'm told, that have greater effects than ethanol but the side effects may create unHappiness.  Happiness In a Pill, or HIP, is the name I will give this form.
3.  Is there a 3rd form of Happiness? 
  The Happiness Box Experiment is really just another form of HIP, I think. 
  Are you Happy when you sleep and dream? 
  Can you be Happy in the sense we mean here if you are not conscious? 
  Are you Happy if you have no memory of Happiness later? 
  Can we anticipate Happiness and be Happy in the anticipation?  What if we think something will happen that will make us Happy and today we are happy in that anticipation, but the thing does not happen and the anticipated Happiness we planned for never materializes?  Does that negate our anticipatory Happiness (because it was never a genuine Happiness, anyway)?

The application of philosophical thinking has an impact on RLS, but not on HIP.  Arraying the many facets of our lives, examining them, assessing them with respect to our intentions and the outcomes we would like to see and then looking over our lives and how the way we live is or is not in harmony with these outcomes is what BQ is all about.  It makes sense to be philosophical with respect to RLS.  It makes no sense to be philosophical if we want to talk about HIP, unless the point is to examine our personal use of HIP in the context of our goal of RLS.

Happiness, Really?

A couple of years ago I did a session on Happiness.  The intent was to talk about Happiness from the standpoint of understanding how Happiness flows from a person's getting their lives in order, forming right relationships with others, with themselves, aligning their goals with their abilities and resources, etc.  Essentially, I wanted the discussion to be an introspective on how a soul lives a Right Life to achieve Right Balance.  There are lots of parts to this, and I wanted to let the discussion range freely, touch on many aspects of the Human Condition, and examine each of our lives to tease out some aspect that might help us create a condition of Greater Happiness.

Somewhere in the discussion something went terribly wrong.  My idea of Happiness was kicked under the bus and I was confronted with the notion that Happiness, actually, was just Right Brain Chemistry, nothing more.  Take a pill and Happiness happens, regardless of anything else. Lithium, Prosac, and who knows what else are all that are really necessary for Happiness, and there is no functional difference between a chemically induced Happiness and whatever a Genuine Happiness might be, if it even exists.  Genuine Happiness may just be a state where brain chemistry is exactly the same as Happiness achieved through modern chemistry, and if this is so, why are we talking about this?

This idea was not unknown to me, but seemed to fly in the face of what BQ was all about.  If philosophical issues could be reduced to the level of simple medical chemistry, in this case, what does that do to the concept of personal responsibility for your actions, and ownership of your condition?  

I've thought about this quite a lot in the time since, and I think it needs to be revisited but with enough background and context to make the discussion productive for all involved.  Think about this and we will get bak to it again.