Convince Me We are not Living in Purgatory?

The May 1 Big Questions will be hosted by Wes and Alice Cain at their home (or should I say farm?) in Stanwood.  If you need the address or directions, please contact them directly.  The starting time is still 6:00 and will include the potluck dinner, followed by the discussion at 7:30.  Judy and I are traveling that day and cannot be back in time to host.  Please note that the meeting will not be on Zoom that evening.

Wes has chosen the topic, which is summarized in the title above.  He provided a synopsis of his topic, and I have copied it below.  

<Wes>  At a March Big Questions, someone suggested the topic: Convince me we are not living in purgatory.

Definition of purgatory according to Merriam-Webster:  

1: an intermediate state after death for expiatory purification, specifically: a place or state of punishment wherein, according to Roman Catholic doctrine, the souls of those who die in God's grace may make satisfaction for past sins and so become fit for heaven.  

2: a place or state of temporary suffering or misery

First Question: Are we living in purgatory? 

<Gemini>  Sometimes, the "purgatory" feeling is just a byproduct of modern life. The repetitive nature of a 9-to-5 job, the endless scrolling on social media, and the feeling of waiting for "real life" to start can make Tuesday afternoon feel like an eternal middle ground.

<Wes>  I don’t think this addresses the intent of the statement, which I took to be our political situation, including the ICE raids and No Kings protests, and the general awfulness of the world.

Back to the initial statement: Convince me we are not living in purgatory.

<Gemini>  It’s a valid question. If you look at a news feed for more than five minutes, the "waiting room for the afterlife" theory starts to look like a pretty reasonable explanation for the chaos.

However, if this were strictly purgatory—a place designed for static endurance and purification—the "architects" made some pretty significant clerical errors. Here is the case for Earth being a much more interesting (if messier) reality:

1. The Glitch of Sensory Joy

Purgatory is usually depicted as a grey, monotonous middle ground. It’s "lukewarm." Earth, however, is a place of extreme sensory peak-and-valley.

• The Argument: A place designed solely for soul-scrubbing wouldn't include the smell of rain on hot pavement, the specific endorphin rush of a perfect high-five, or the existence of mangoes. These things are "unnecessary" for purification—they are purely, redundantly wonderful.

2. Agency vs. Endurance

In the classic concept of purgatory, you are a passive participant. You are there to undergo something until you’re ready for the next level.

• The Reality: On Earth, we have the annoying but beautiful burden of agency. We don't just wait for the world to happen to us; we actively tilt the axis. People build libraries, rescue stray dogs, and invent ways to harness the sun. If this were a waiting room, we’d be getting in a lot of trouble for rearranging the furniture.

3. The "Bad News" Bias

We are biologically wired to notice the "terrible things" because, evolutionarily speaking, the person who noticed the tiger survived longer than the person who noticed the pretty flower.

• The Perspective: Disaster is an event; peace is a state of being. You don't see headlines that say "4 Billion People Had a Decent Tuesday," but it happened. The fact that we are even capable of being "convinced" otherwise suggests we have a baseline expectation for goodness that purgatory wouldn't bother providing.

4. Innovation and Progress

Purgatory is a circle; Earth is (mostly) a messy upward spiral.

• The Evidence: We’ve eradicated diseases, lowered global poverty rates significantly over the last century, and figured out how to put a camera on Mars. In a true purgatory, the "tech tree" would be locked. We’d be stuck with the same problems forever, but we keep solving old ones—even if we're remarkably talented at inventing brand-new ones to replace them.

The world is undeniably heavy right now, but purgatory is a place where nothing changes. Earth is a place where everything is constantly, sometimes violently, becoming something else. That capacity for change is exactly why it's worth sticking around to see what we do next.

What’s one "unnecessarily good" thing you’ve encountered lately that definitely wouldn't be on the menu in a grey waiting room?

The Importance of Maintaining Friendships

 Psychology tells us that the loneliest part of growing old isn’t being alone, but realizing that some friendships disappear as soon as you stop nurturing them, and understanding that they were never based on mutual care, but on your willingness to do all the emotional work

I don't think I've done the same topic twice in a row before, but the discussion we held last time was powerful due to the perspectives shared, and was meaningful for me.  The quote above comes from an article on the topic of friendship that focuses on the work that friendship requires, and how aging can affect who we are friends with, and how it takes work to make it all come together.  Here is a link to the article.   (I apologize that this link takes you to an article that is absolutely filled with Ads.  Please ignore the distractive Ads and stick to the text.  That is where the real information exists.)  As I read the article my mind flashed to people who I had considered to be friends in the past, but who may have slipped into my past today due to either inactivity, indifference or my negligence in failing to reach out and share what is going on in my life.  Being friends requires work, according to the authors, and the work is what makes having friends rewarding.  What is the work being done?  Read the article to find out.

Anyone who has had a medical appointment in the past few years has been quizzed by their primary care physicians and others about how connected each of us is to the people in our lives.  Connection to people is a key to mental and emotional health, if not actual survival, and special connections with people we consider to be friends is especially important.   The social groups we participate in affect our sense of belonging more than we can appreciate.  Social scientists study these interactions and report on their importance.  As we age it becomes even more important.  

Our group at Big Questions is a crucible where friendships are formed and nurtured.  We come together to provide the mutual support we all need in our lives.  Come, friend, and participate in a life-affirming activity.